Relaying a Rant on Barbie

This week has been busy for me with doctor appointments almost every day and any time I've tried to sit down an get ready to blog the phone rings and something comes up.

One call was from a friend that had a co-worker go in for breast cancer treatment. That's what the call was about. And all the males in the office decided to show solidarity for a day by visiting her & wearing a bra. (They also paid to do this – donating the money to help her with medical co-pays and whatever else she needed. Imagine that one ladies – guys paying to wear a bra.)

His phone call about the bra he was wearing was humorous (in a way) and yet -as a capitalist (card carrying Republicant) – he struck on an number of women's rights/feminist issues. This was ironic and in a way hilarious.

I will "attempt" to relay his various comments here.

First he went boobs to the wall about the cost of a bra. (I can't reasonably say “balls to the wall. That's not what goes in them.) Even a cheap bra was pricey to him. He wasn't going to wear a bra when he visited except he was at a co worker's house whose daughter was in the know & suckered him into getting measured. (Actually she's an attractive Type-A female. She's got it & knows how to use it. And the guy gets nothing in the end but an expensive credit card bill for a night on the town, not her. Go figure.) He was about her size so she grabbed one and loaned it to him for the afternoon. No cost, no complaint.

Except for the under-wire. Exactly whose idea was it to stick wire in a bra? If it's uncomfortable for a male, how much more for a female? And it's not like breasts have no nerves in them?

And the band (?) around the middle of his chest that constricted his breathing. He does martial arts and works out, so he's in tune with breathing. Except the band makes this more difficult. And he was only wearing it for a few hours. Think about all day.

And even more infuriating to him was the fact that the bra made him look like he was a guy with man-boobs. He's cut & flat. The bra made him almost a B-Cup with all the push-up material and padding. So from having nothing – a simple bra gives him small breasts?

And then the stupid straps kept falling down no matter how they were adjusted. (As if, right ladies?)

And he carried on. And any female that is reading this is probably laughing her butt off and could tell us males so much more that we don't know and need to (most likely).

Aside from all that – here's the ironic part: he started talking about how oppressive and uncomfortable the bra was and how artificial it was (I know, preaching to the choir). Women's breasts (a particular weakness of the males of the species) are not these perfectly rounded pieces of flesh that defy the laws of gravity when the bra comes off. They have different shapes, firmness, and hang when the bra comes off. And unless they have been surgically altered, which I have heard is less than comfortable, they are far from what we see on the Hollywood screen or in various pornographic magazines.

And his question to me was (minus the profanity) “Why do women wear these torture devices?”

Because society expects them to?

Because capitalist fashion dictates that they do?

Because …..

And he kept on going off on women's clothing and how much women have been turned into “Barbie© Dolls” by the fashion industry. Even the so-called office feminists dare not defy the laws of fashion.

And he went off on the the different types of underwear that are designed to shape a women's butts to look a certain way. Also all the complaints in the office about pantyhose and how miserable it is to wear (runs, etc).

I was personally wondering what all he really wore that day.

And after the phone call was over – I did a ton of laughing to myself hearing a conservative talk like a feminist – I started thinking about a “so called” feminist that I work with and how, for all her enlightenment and women's advocacy, she is nothing more than a slave to the capitalist fashion industry.

What's the latest fashion in shoes? She has several pairs.

What's the latest in dresses and skirts? She has it.

Make-up? She does it.

She's gone gray – except for the hair coloring that she does. And a student looked at all the chemicals in hair color, read up on the Material Safety Data Sheets for them and wondered how did the FDA approve this for use? The number of cancer causing chemicals, even though in low doses, that were in the hair coloring, perfume, and make up was horrifying.

And we wonder about cancer rates in women. What price for beauty?

And women smear it all over themselves to meet some artificial standard of beauty.

And one of my good friends in college was totally blind and had a beautiful girlfriend that he eventually married. He said he saw her real beauty. Everyone else was deceived by the packaging. Then again, he was also an excellent judge of character because he wasn't distracted by the “wrapper.” (His words, not mine.)

So, here we are in March – Women's history month.

And we are supposed to be celebrating all that women have done throughout history.

And all that they have achieved.

Let's remember what they have not achieved – freedom from someone else's opinion of what beauty is.

And until they achieve this, they will never truly be free.